Friday, June 17, 2011

Death and children

By Bec

My wonderful Grandma (Mama as we called her) passed away during the week. She had cancer. It was very quick, she was only diagnosed late February this year. I visited her last Friday to say my goodbyes, but we didn't let my kids come as we didn't want their last memories of her like that. She was bed bound, jaundiced and was struggling to even talk.

I haven't even told the kids yet. When I got off the phone and burst into tears Hunter asked what was wrong and I just said I didn't feel very well. Of course I'm going to tell them, I just don't know when or how.

Our dilemma now is do we take the kids to the funeral or not? Hunter is 4.5 and Savannah 2. Savannah is too young to understand, but Hunter knows a bit about these things. I feel bad for him as we didn't let him see her the last time she was in hospital as he was sick, and we didn't want him passing bugs on (we don't get to see her that often as she lives in the country). But I'm not sure a funeral is an appropriate place for a 4 and 2 year old. What are your thoughts?

Rest in peace beautiful lady. You are now pain free and can rest. You will be greatly missed.


  1. Hi Bec

    My condolences on the passing of your grandma. The question you posed is a tricky one. Personally, I would share the news with Miss P. I believe our children have amazing coping mechanisms and sometimes revealing the news is better than hiding it. They can become more fearful when they look at our behaviour or emotions without knowing what's happened. All the best with everything and peace to you and your family!

    ~ Victoria

  2. Thanks Victoria,
    Turns out hubby already spoke to Hunter about it. They had a nice conversation about how she is in heavan now sipping tea with Hunter's Nan - his first question was, but how can they talk between the walls!
    Hunter hasn't spoken of it since. He knows he can't see her again though.
    We have decided (on the advice of my parents as the service will be long), not to take the kids to the funeral.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...